mood, memory, or myth
“The room is dark, but our eyes gradually adjust to the darkness.” After Dark -Haruki Murakami
My ongoing series Mood, Memory, or Myth is an exploration of the human experiences and memories of fear, anxiety, and pleasure, and the impact of growing up in a family that refuses to discuss any of that. Sex, sadness, death, and family illnesses are subjects that my family considers taboo. My family’s inability to discuss these subjects openly left me without a voice. I found that depicting these forbidden subjects empowers me, allowing me to explore my feminine desires, my sadnesses, and to come to terms with the expectations my family and my Mexican culture imposed on me as a female: to wed and have children. I create illusions that conjure the realms of the imagination without presenting a factual reality. Something very personal and complex, but which allows viewers to relate freely on their own terms. I use these subjects and memories to help me navigate the anxieties caused by my family’s expectations of me as a woman, and to fill the space left by my family’s silence on these taboos.
I work traditionally, shooting film, Polaroids, paper negatives, and making darkroom chromogenic prints, occasionally incorporating mixed media. Analog production allows me to insert more of myself into each print.
I was the youngest sibling and only daughter in a household of Mexican immigrants. The dissonance between my desires and my culture’s expectations made me anxious. My father’s diagnosis of early on-set Alzheimers, and my family’s inability to have an open discussion about his condition, only made things worse. I turned to photography to express these inner inquietudes, impressionistically exploring events and anxieties.
let it go
Growing up as a Catholic Latina, I was very aware of well defined female roles. At the time, I did not dare to question them out loud. I adhered to them innocently. I find myself photographing women to liberate myself from my ghosts’ past. I explore femininity collaboratively, photographing close friends and acquaintances. We come together. There is a relationship built on trust. At times, it comes from unspoken words, a synergy between the two. There is a femininity-full, frank, and free. Throughout my work, I use moody narratives that evoke life’s dark nuances of fear, anxiety, and pleasure, freed from worries about “gendered gaze”, just a photographer, trust, and time well spent among friends.
Córdova, aka, shesaidred, is a photographer, filmmaker and artist known for her framed dream-like cinematic stills.
Córdova was born and raised in Oregon, by hard working Mexican immigrant parents. She initially trained and practiced as a hairstylist before becoming fascinated with the world of photography and filmmaking. When not in the darkroom or filming, you’ll find her interpreting for the Lawyer’s Committee for Civil Rights and Labor Commissioner of San Francisco.
2016 Art of Filmmaking 1, NW Film Center, Portland, OR
2009-2014 Todd Hido Studio, Professional Activities, Oakland, CA
2004 Associate of Arts, City College of San Francisco Photography Department, San Francisco, CA
2019 Kindred Spirits, Grey Loft Gallery, Oakland, CA,
2019 Portal, jury selected, Ann Jastrab, Honorable Mention, Johnson City, TX
2019 Dreamscapes, mood, memory, or myth Shibumi Gallery, Berkeley, CA
2019 Contemporary Portraiture, jury selected, Ann Jastrab, The Center for Fine Art Photography, Fort Collins, CO
2019 Something Blue, jury selected, Ann Jastrab, Gray Loft Gallery, Oakland, CA
2018 Exquisite Little Things, jury selected, Jan Watten, Gray Loft Gallery, Oakland, OR
2018 In Gratitude, jury selected, Laura Valenti, LightBox Photographic Gallery, Astoria, OR
2018 Odd, jury selected, Russell Joslin, LightBox Photographic Gallery, Astoria, OR
2018 Plastic Camera Show, jury selected, Ann Jastrab, Honorable Mention, Santa Clara Univ Art Dept, Santa Clara, CA
2018 Expanding Boundaries, jury selected, Scott B. Davis, LACP, Los Angeles, CA
2018 Light Sensitive, Art Intersection Street Project, Gilbert, AZ
2018 Interior, Seities Magazine, Shelf Life Books, EXPOSURE Photo Festival, Calgary, Canada
2018 Seeing Red, Gray Loft Gallery, Oakland, CA
2018 The Creative Portrait, LACP, Los Angeles, CA
2017 Off The Wall, Art Intersection Street Project, Gilbert, AZ
2017 Light Sensitive, Art Intersection Street Project, Gilbert, AZ
2017 Hospitality House Annual Art Auction, Minnesota Street Project, San Francisco, CA
2017 Rayko’s 10th Annual International Plastic Camera Show, Rayko Photo Center, San Francisco, CA
2016 Untitled, Rayko Photo Center, San Francisco, CA
2015 Art For The House, Arc Gallery, San Francisco, CA
2015 Hospitality House Annual Art Auction, White Walls Gallery, San Francisco, CA
2015 Indivisualism, RPS Gallery, Oakland, CA
2012 Not Kansas: Photographers Explore Their Own Worlds, Rayko Photo Center, San Francisco, CA
2016 “Un Ostión.” Screening, Whitsell Theater, Portland Art Museum, Portland, OR
“Alzheimer’s In The Family: Searching For Lost Fragments Of My Childhood” Edge Of Humanity Magazine March 2020: Online
“7 Photographers On Alzheimer’s, Dementia & Heartbreaking Memory Loss” Vice Magazine Feb 2020: Online
“Private 2020” PHOTODARIUM, inner cover Jan 2020
“Top 40 Analog Images of 2019!” Analog Forever Zine, Jan 2020
“Shadows” AAP Magazine Dec 2019: 8-10 Print
“Loosen Up” Analog Forever Zine Aug 2019: Online.
“No More Bad Nudes” PDN Magazine Dec 2018: 54 Print
“Issue 24” The Hand Magazine April 2019: 9 Print.
“Issue 23” The Hand Magazine Jan 2019: 24 & Back Cover Print.
“Winter/Spring 18/19 Seities Magazine Dec 2018/Jan 2019: 55 Print
“Don’t Take Pictures” Photo Of The Day, Kat Kiernan, Editor-in-Chief, Sept 18, 2018: Online
“Interior.” Seities Magazine, A Traditional Photography Publication & Gallery, Polaroid Competition Winner Interview Winter/Spring Issue 2018: 47,51, 57-62 Print
“Your Daily Photograph.” Emerging/Contemporary Aug 8, 2017: Online
“Your Daily Photograph.” Ann Jastrab, guest curator Jan 17, 2014: Online
Pacific Grove Museum, Pacific Grove, CA
Hospitality House, San Francisco, CA
SF Camera Works, San Francisco, CA
Rayko Photo Center, San Francisco, CA
2015 Photographer’s Portfolio, City College Of San Francisco, San Francisco, CA
2012 Out Of Sight, Rayko Photo Center San Francisco, CA
©2006- She Said Red. All rights reserved.